


The Lawe of the Preservatioun of Prickes

by Nineveh_uk



Category: Original Work
Genre: Law of Conservation of Cock Size, M/M, Metafiction, Nebulous historical setting with inconsistent spelling, Nonnies Made Me Do It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 12:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11440719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nineveh_uk/pseuds/Nineveh_uk
Summary: Beinge an instructiue dialogue between the priest Master Greatwit and squire Sir Curious concerning the practice of Buggerye and how the dignitie of menne engayged therein shall be maintained.





	The Lawe of the Preservatioun of Prickes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilliburlero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilliburlero/gifts).



_Sir Curious_ : I prithee, Master Greatwit, for thou hast studyed in the uniuersitie, answer me this question. If a knaue be so far gone in sinne as to chuse to make the beast of two backes with another siche man, as we have heard of late of those sodomitical knights called Templar, how is it that both may pursiue his unnatural gratification without a state of unmanning as to render the acte impossible? For not onlie must one take a Woman's part, but the variation found in nature is such that in the order of thinges one party must be grater in his proportiouns than the other! Would nat the lesser man be rendered by this misfortune unable to rise, that he retreateth in shame before the acte of fornication could be committed?

 _Master Greatwit_ : Thou art wyse in thy way, Sir Curious, though unlettered. This questioun has been much studied in the uniuersities for the advancement of our knowledge of God's Creation. Were it as you say indeede much sinne would be preuented. Surely the party with the smaller weapon would withdraw the field before it came to blows. And yet it is not so, for the deuil's powers are mightie, and he hath brought into this fallen world such a curse that when two menne mete for this purpose their organs of generation, that is what we in the uniuersities call that part the pricke, that is the instrument of the getting of children, are ever the same size!

 _Sir Curious_ : But how can that be, Master Greatwit? For there are menne with veritable spears between their legs with ballocks to match, and others possessed but of fly-pizzles! Can it be that the temptatioun of buggerye afflicts only those menne of a particular length?

 _Master Greatwit_ : Not so, Sir Curious. Hadst thou attended the uniuersitie, thou wouldst know that thou considerest only part of a question that needeth attentioun to the wholle. For length, God wot, is not all of the yard! The learned call it the Lawe of the Preservatioun of Prickes, by means of which when two menne come together intending to know one another in that fashion, though one be long yete will he be lanky, and he that is short will so be stout, so that the dimensiouns together be alike. The Truthe of this is Lawe has been attested in the uniuersities both through direct measurement of the organ and through the application of _Archimedes_ ' principle. Thus neither is unmanned and both may discharge his shot.

 _Sir Curious_ : Is it really so, Master Greatwit? You have proued me an ignorant churl. Yet how is it that such a remarkable thinge be attributed to the deuil? For though he has many powers, I had not heard that he had such strength as to so affect the naturall laws. I would not thou thinkst that I mean heresie, for I should shrinke to utter such before one such as thee. But maie it not be that it is the Almightie Himself that has ordained thinges so, and our weake sense that ascribes the worke of the Lord to the Evil One?

 _Master Greatwit_ :  Indeed, Sir Curious thy curiositie hath much sense to it! In thy untutored genius thou strik'st to the point that has occupied the fellowes of the uniuersities these many years. But thou needst not take my word for it. Let us proue the case by experiment! For thou art comely and vigorous, and I have had no fuck since I left the uniuersitie.

 _Sir Curious_ : Thy wit is grate, I cannot gainsay thee, for sure I too am well named. We shall putte thy learnynge to test, so let us swiue!


End file.
